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It's funny because I haven't posted in a while
I never expected to make money writing, but it’s the only way I’ve ever paid the bills. I thought I’d make money baking, but my brief foray into pastry left me with a broken back and a drained bank account.
For the first time in my life, I’m making money, and I’m not writing (unless you count sending emails). So, here I am with an excess of time and an excess of energy and an excess of ideas.
I spent the first month of this year putting all that excess into two big baking projects.
First, Han and I popped up at Tender Loving Empire. I made miso toffee chocolate chip cookies, strawberry chocolate chip cookies, strawberry chocolate cream puffs, and raspberry linzer cookies. The bake was challenging, but well worth it — I sold out!
The next weekend, I brought desserts for Circle Round’s Galentine’s Gala benefitting Rose Haven and the Portland Immigrant Rights Coalition. I made a two-tiered cake with vanilla sponge, Cara Cara orange curd, berry jam, spiced simple syrup, and toasty vanilla Italian meringue buttercream. I also made some more strawberry chocolate chip cookies.
Han and I arrived early and left early (shocker), well before they sliced the cake. However, we did catch a glimpse of the cake’s dramatic entrance. A flash of pink strode by, and every head in the room turned to sneak a peek.
These events reminded me how much I love the tangible aspect of baking. So much of my time in news ephemeral to me. I struggled to process the constant churn of gore juxtaposed against the supposed glory of garnering 100,000 viewers on a story. I’d imagine all those readers together in the biggest rooms I knew: Madison Square Garden, the (former) Carrier Dome, or a rush hour Q train. At my desk, alone, I felt all of their eyes on me, the glare burning my skin.
When I worked in kitchens, I seriously logged off. I even let my once-verified Twitter account lapse. But after moving across the country, I couldn’t find a job, and I began to dream of being a content creator, despite hating the sound of my own voice and the way I look on camera. I’d gone viral once in 2024, but was too overwhelmed by the attention to harness it into anything lasting.
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More than anything, the idea of creating for the sake of churn reminded me of the parts I hated most about the news cycle. Constantly putting out new content — especially food content — to feed an algorithm rather than the people around you bums me out. I try to avoid making unnecessary food waste, and developing recipes sure does produce a lot of it. Living in a new city with a handful of friends and a wife who does not share my taste, I found myself drowning in underproofed focaccia slices and herb-studded biscuits. I enjoy recipe development as a hobby, but the professional space is oversaturated, and I don’t want to waste money on ingredients to develop niche recipes that no one besides me will ever make.
So, what does this mean for Wilted Kale Salad?
Everyone thought that when I went to pastry school to become a food writer, but that was never the goal. As my Saturn return (finally!) ends, I see myself more as a person who cares about food and writes for fun or a writer who also bakes and sometimes writes about that, though I’m not sold on either description. I definitely don’t feel like a food person; My interest lives at the intersection of pleasure and practicality — aesthetics alone are not enough to subsist on, really.
So, what does this mean for Wilted Kale Salad? Honestly, not much will change around here. I’ve always loved posting on the internet, but I don’t want to spend hours and money on something that I care about only to send it to drift on a sea of endless AI slop, destined to never be heard from again. I want to make real objects that exist in the real world, things I can see and feel.
Some will attribute this to performance or the trend to go analog. Either way, you’re not wrong. So call me Selena Gomez because I want to spend less time on my phone and more time looking around. Some of my creative goals for the next year include:
Writing the first draft of my novel
Baking in a way that benefits others (I’m finally signing up for For Goodness Cake).
Just, like, doing my job and hanging out
Continuing to publish an essay, list, or round-up once a month on Substack, maybe a recipe or two, too, if it feels right
Baking fun things
Making food I want to eat with my groceries (why is this so hard?)
Finish one painting
So, I have some stuff on my plate. I just might not post a picture of it, though it’s too soon to say.
Back soon,
Suze